REST WITH BAKARA WINTNER
Rest is an individual process, as tarot reader, writer, and owner of Everyday Magic, Bakara Wintner explains. As a self-described insanely busy person, she admits that most of the time, rest doesn't come naturally for her. Here, find out how she creates the space to rest anyway.
Bakara also lets us know that it's OK to accept that sometimes rest just isn't gonna happen, and we don't need to feel bad about it. Plus, she shares what feels most draining to her as well as what feels restorative and rejuvenating.
WHAT ARE YOUR RITUALS TO RELAX, REJUVENATE, AND RESTORE YOURSELF?
I'm going to start off by saying that rest is not a strong suit of mine haha, but I will do my best here to honestly share how I make time to take care of myself as an insanely busy person who pretty much always puts their work first. But I think that's a lot of people, and I don't think we need to feel bad about not being able to carve out hours each day for rest. I find my work to be extremely satisfying and feel very energetically met by it, so a full, productive day of work feel restorative and rejuvenating to me. Aside from that, I take my alone time pretty seriously. I live alone and at the end of the day my home is my sanctuary. Whether I'm binge watching Netflix on my couch, taking a bath, writing, or even still working, having that time by myself at night (aka when no one is awake / wants anything from me) to just do me in my own space is crucial. I also try to spend one full day a week cleaning my apartment, doing laundry, and just generally getting my life in order because feeling like I'm behind is the most draining thing for me.
WHAT IS YOUR ADVICE TO EMPOWER WOMEN TO MAKE TIME FOR (GUILT-FREE) REST?
Sometimes there are natural breaks where you feel like you're allowed to rest, but most of the time there isn't and you just have to create the space anyway. I've probably had three times in the last five years where my to-do list was completely empty. The notion of guilt-free rest is important, and I think it's a matter of trusting yourself enough to know when to call it, but also trusting yourself enough to know that sometimes rest just isn't gonna happen. I just cancelled a trip that was going to be fabulous and amazing because I knew I would be stressed the entire time because I have so much to do around the holidays, and it would be more restful to be here and know that everything is done. But with that said, after the holidays I'm going to rest for two weeks. I took what was an essentially two month long vacation over the summer. I think it ultimately comes down to trusting your own process and respecting it and not thinking it "should" be different. I've chosen a life where, professionally, I answer only to myself. So if I feel guilty about resting, I probably won't rest until I don't feel guilty about it because that is not genuinely restful for me.
SURRENDER / TUNE IN
PLEASE DESCRIBE A TIME WHEN YOU HAD TO SURRENDER TO REST...& HOW DO YOU TUNE INTO YOUR BODY'S WISDOM TO KNOW WHEN TO REST?
I just got back from a birthday trip to New Orleans where obviously I destroyed my body and immune system, so I got sick as soon as we got back. Holiday season is crazy both for the store and for me as a tarot reader, and I was planning on coming back and going directly into beast mode, but it just physically could not happen. I spent three days on my couch with my dog drinking tea and not even answering e-mails because I knew I had to keep my energy super low to the ground to heal faster. I am reaching a point where I'm experiencing physical consequences from not taking care of my body, I'm so used to treating it as a vehicle that lets me do the things I want without really ever taking it in for maintenance or service. But it's very clearly letting me know when enough is enough, and getting sick is a perfect example. It also happened when I cut my foot at the beach over the summer and couldn't really walk for a month. I'm hoping in time I won't have to hurt myself or get sick to be able to hear my body, but, you know, progress not perfection.
Bakara Wintner is a tarot reader, dog mom, girlboss, writer and owner of Everyday Magic.
Since opening Everyday Magic—an intentional lifestyle shop carrying crystals, tarot cards and ritual objects—Bakara has established herself and her space as a cornerstone of Durham’s healing community, where she lives with her pit mix, Zadie Killer.
She is the author of a candid tutorial on card reading, WTF is Tarot...& How Do I Do It?